Ring of Truth
by ihonestlydontknow
Summary: Often, the creeping doubt came at night, alone in his quarters. The horrible, nagging doubt that, as much as he wanted to deny it, was his constant companion in Hueco Mundo. Suzumishi is not happy with Tousen. Introspective, angsty-ish


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It was… lonely in Los Noches. The wind whistled through the open castle, filling the place with a sad, morning sound. The arrencar didn't seem to care, neither did Aizen-sama or Gin, but maybe they knew something he didn't. Maybe they saw something he didn't. That was very possible. Did sight make that much of a difference?

Had he talked to anyone and voiced these thoughts, they probably wouldn't stand up to a sound inspection of logic, and even in the depths of his mind, Tousen didn't believe these thoughts himself, either. He knew, deep in his mind, deep in his bones, deep in his _heart, _that it was something different, entirely.

Often, the creeping doubt came at night, alone in his quarters. The horrible, nagging doubt that, as much as he wanted to deny it, was his constant companion in Hueco Mundo. Even when out in the castle, it was there, sitting in the back of his mind like a lead weight on a rubber sheet. It showed in his actions. He saw himself act, knowing that even though the Hollow had deserved it, he would never had cut off another's arm in Soul Society. In Soul Society, the thought of doing such a thing, even to Zaraki, would never have crossed his mind. Were he to act against someone like that, he would never have left a warrior in such a defenseless manner.

Tousen Kaname sat in his dark room, thinking of paths taken and strayed from. He sensed a form behind him, lithe and sinewy, each step familiar as his own.

"Tousen," a voice resonated with the harmony of bells. "Why are we here?"

"To follow the path of least bloodshed." His answer had become automatic after this evening ritual had become established. Suzumushi asked this every night, but had not spoken otherwise since they had left for the Hollow world. The shortage of words hadn't been the only thing that had changed. He hadn't been addressed as 'Kaname' since he had joined Aizen. "To follow the path of justice." The words sounded especially hollow, echoing through the mostly empty chamber this night.

"What are we doing here, Tousen?"

Tousen twisted his head toward Suzumushi, even though he could not see the zanpakuto spirit. His companion had never deviated from the pattern that had been set, not once. "As I said, to follow the path of least bloodshed," he said as calmly as he could. The least he could do was grace this inquiry with an answer, despite its similarity to the normal one.

"We miss her."

For the second time that night, the former captain was shocked. This was unsettling. Why would Suzumushi bring _her_ up? So shocked was he, that Tousen failed to answer his companion spirit.

"You are troubled, Tousen," Suzumushi continued. "You look in your mind, see your actions with your minds eye, measure them to your standard and come up short."

Tousen tried to find his voice. What for, he wasn't sure, but that didn't matter, as he couldn't manage to make a sound as his zanpakuto continued. He sensed that the lithe figure of his companion was circling him.

"You believe that it is this place, the home of the unjust Hollow that influences your actions. You believe that Aizen will follow his beginning plan, and bring justice all worlds, Hollow, Human and Soul Reaper. You are running away from the truth. He didn't follow his first plan, did he?"

"There was-"

"He lied. We _know_ this." The circling stopped. A gusty sigh was heard. "Why, Kaname?" Suzumushi's tone had change from the sepulchral tone it had slid into since Tousen had joined Aizen to a lighter, more feminine ring. "You've trapped us here. We can't beat Aizen and Gin, Kaname. You've trapped us with people who are more of a threat to justice and _her _memory than Zaraki and Grimmjow combined. You have truly, blindly lost the path, Kaname. Why, Kaname?"

Kaname had no answer for this. He cradled his head in his hands, tears flowing down his cheeks as he realized what he had done to _her_ memory, realized what a sham he had made the legacy he had tried to make in _her_ name.

-end-

A/N: this was a random one-shot that popped into my head after thinking about Tousen, and his philosophy. The guy doesn't get much press, from what I've seen, and honestly, I don't think to much about him in any case, so this is odd for me.

One thing about this story; for some inexplicable reason, I had this image of Suzumushi as a big cat of some kind. Like a black panther or something, and the idea wouldn't go away, and wormed its way into the imagery in this story. I know that Suzumushi's spirit-form (or what ever the zanpakuto-spirits are called) is what, 99.9% likely to NOT be a cat, but hey, don't kill me about this, please...

So, anyway, please tell me what you think. Was it good? Avarage? Eye scouringly bad? You could call this number 1-800-HOW-WAS-MY-ONESHOT or, you could just use the little button on the bottom. (Here's a hint: it's NOT the banner add)


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